Today I read about a woman whose family was suffering, "where the hell is God,"  she said.
The answer was, "I think God is devastated, God is not standing outside our pain, but was a companion within it, holding us in his arms, sharing our grief and pain."

I've had my doubts about God, more than a few.
but today on your birthday, I look to a Divine presence that is a companion and is devastated that you are not here in your physical form with us.

As much as I don't want to, I have to accept the reality of the situation.
and try to understand the "complexities of where and how the Divine presence fits into our fragile and human world."

This is the path I have been given.

Sometimes I stepped onto the path with joy, happy on my road with you.
Sometimes I tiptoed, cautious and afraid.
Sometimes I ran away.

Those moments I stepped onto the path were my most happy.
I'm grateful I had them.
I'm grateful you gave them to me.

I'm blessed that you came into this life.

it will always be your birthday, nothing will change that.

Amen.

"Love ought to manifest itself more by deeds than by words."  St. Ignatius Loyola


I pray to act more in love than speak love.
I pray to follow your example, love in action.

I pray for you in a realm that I can not see, can not hear, can not know.

I pray to trust that all is well in that realm.

I pray to let love carry you through this realm to the next.


Amen.

"Why is there this everlasting craving to be loved?

Listen carefully. You want to be loved because you do not love; but the moment you love, it is finished, you are no longer inquiring whether or not somebody loves you.

As long as you demand to be loved, there is no love in you; and if you feel no love, you are ugly, brutish, so why should you be loved?

Without love you are a dead thing; and when the dead thing asks for love, it is still dead.

Whereas, if your heart is full of love, then you never ask to be loved, you never put out your begging bowl for someone to fill it. It is only the empty who ask to be filled, and an empty heart can never be filled by running after gurus or seeking love in a hundred other ways."


I am beginning to understand.

I pray to keep my heart full of love, for you, for everyone, for myself.

May I stop holding my begging bowl out for someone to fill it.

I know I had that with you, I just loved you.

I pray for you ever and always, in my heart, with my soul.

Amen.

"The soul is a fact, but it is not physical.  This can make it difficult to understand what it is and where it is within you."

"Your soul tells you, "Everything is in the hands of a force greater than what you perceive in the present moment.  Let go. Do not let the illusion of the moment seduce you into a misperception. Let it go.  Other guidance is at work that you cannot see or hear. You are not alone.  Let go. Surrender."

 "Only a soul with stamina can truly believe those instructions and have the faith to follow them.  The mind can repeat them like a mantra but cannot truly force itself to believe."

  Carolyn  Myss


    I don't understand and I want to.
    Praying for surrender to what I don't understand.
    trust in life, in love, in the soul. without understanding or wanting a physical sign.
   
    
     Amen.

Taking care of each other
 with your love to guide us,
 that is our gift.
 You are always with us.

  Peace to your soul.

  it was a gentle Christmas Eve
  with your gentle spirit everywhere, in every room, in every conversation, in every moment,
  I felt your presence.
  Amen.

I pray to enter the castle where you are, soul companion,
dear one.

 Let me be humble and brave enough to cross the bridge.
 I pray to be thankful for all the love I was given, all the love I was able to give,
 I pray for you, always.

  My gift from you is life, is love, is eternal.


 Amen.

"the dark night of the soul"


   The days get darker and darker
    a holiday that was a family time
    now lost and lonely.
   
     I pray to know how to take you with us,
     to have you at the table, around the Christmas tree,
     to hear your laughter and feel your grace,
     as we go into winter.


      I pray for your soul to orbit around us, always closer and closer.


      Amen.

Hafiz
"Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly, let it cut more deep."

Surrender seems to be what's necessary.
To not keep myself from falling, wherever that takes me.

I pray for you, near me always,
let me live my life honoring the ways you lived yours,
human and loving.

Amen.

Know that I am with you,
wherever you go, no matter how far, distance can not separate us.

I pray for you, may you live in everlasting peace.

Amen.

"The opposite of death is not life, it's birth. Life is eternal."



I pray for your eternal life, a simple prayer of love for all that you were here on earth
and all that you are in your life eternal. 

amen.

"This is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one;
the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap;
the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy."  
George Bernard Shaw


I am thankful I had the chance to know that feeling of purpose.
I pray for your soul beautiful and boundless.

Let me be brave in this life.

Amen.

"May there be a beautiful welcome for you in the home that you are going to.
You are not going somewhere strange.
You are going back to the home that you never left.
May your soul smile in the embrace of your anam cara"
John O'Donohue


Before I knew my purpose, or part of it, I felt like a fireman waiting in the firehouse to answer the alarm when it sounded.

I wasn't as brave as a firemen, I may have been a rookie, a fireman in training.  Yet sometimes I answered the call right on time, slid down the pole and ran toward the fire.

That day came when I couldn't put the fire out, all the alarms rang and I stood by.  


May my prayers for you embrace you and keep you.

Amen.

"We are travelling together."  Rumi


To keep travelling with you, whether or not I can see you or touch you,
 that is my prayer.
 we rode together on this rocky road,
 now let us travel together to unseen places.

 I pray to  reach out to what I can not know

 and I pray for you, brilliant light that you are.


And I pray for Sally, mother of Elizabeth, passed from this earth yesterday.
may her soul rest in peace. 

Amen.

Everyday I think of you.

I talk to you in my mind and sometimes  out loud.
I ask for your help.
I ask for your love.
I ask for guidance.

in so many ways you are still here.
it's a mystery to me how I can still imagine you here.
when I know you have gone.

I don't want to bother you with all my needs.
you gave everything you had to me while you could still be here.
I am so thankful that I was so lucky to have had you.

I dream of a world for you where everything is easy, everything is calm and peaceful, where you can enjoy yourself, whatever the soul is.
maybe that's a child like imaginings, I dream of it anyway.

I pray with all my heart you  have gone to all that.

Amen

"In your light I learn how to love...
You dance inside my chest where no one sees you,
But sometimes I do, and that sight becomes this art."  Rumi


Learning how to love,
it goes on and on
the lesson continues with you as my teacher,
whatever I do, you are with me.
Sometimes I know that and sometimes I doubt it.
I pray to lose doubt in the great wind
and fly with faith.

Amen

I pray just to listen.

Bless your soul
Bless your heart
Bless your love.

To talk less and listen more with my heart, in that way I can honor you.

Amen.

"My great mistake, the fault for which I can't forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality."  Oscar Wilde


Bless you for showing me what an individual is, the courage of conviction, the living of a humble life,
and the "obstinate pursuit of your own individuality."

I am blessed to have your example to go forward.

I know if you were in my shoes you would do your best to go on,
that is all I can do.


I pray for you everyday that God keep you in light and love.


Amen, amen, amen.

"Blessed are they who heal us of self-despisings,
Of all services which can be done to man, I know of none more precious." 
William Hale White


I bless you for helping me let go of "self -despisings,
and that you continue to heal me after....

You always told me not to criticize myself,
it gets harder since you are not here to remind me.

I pray to hear you in my mind,
I pray to listen to what you told me.
to your wise words, your careful speech,
your loving voice.


I pray to heal myself of "self-despisings,"  it is
dishonoring you, so I am working on letting it go forever.

I pray for you to hear my words that you may know you go on,
despite the loss of your physical form.

I pray for you to know how much you have given in life
and even beyond this life.

I pray for all this to light your way.

Amen.

"The more you know yourself, the more you will forgive yourself."  Confucius


These could have been your words.
You are wise like Confucius.

I remember you saying, "when you are in a hole the first thing to do is stop digging."
I thought it was yours, until I read in a book that Confucius was credited with it.

No matter, all the wise things you said somehow became yours, the look in your eyes when you said it,
the sincerity and compassion you said it with all made them yours.


I pray to listen with my heart now and my spirit to all the wise words you said,
now that you are not here to look into my eyes, to hold my hand.


I pray to live the words and not just say them, as you lived your words.

I pray always and forever for your soul to be near mine so that I may feel its touch wherever I am.


Amen.

"The giving of love is an education in itself."  Eleanor Roosevelt

My education in giving love continues.
It will continue till the day I die.
It is a practice, not a destination.
I will never arrive at perfection.
I pray to practice as best I can, every day
and when I fall get up, as many times as I fall keep getting up.

I pray to listen to your heart, those were the lessons you taught me.
Your teaching goes on, the conversation goes on, love goes on.
For all this I am grateful.
For the gift of you I am grateful.

I pray for you, I pray for God to keep you always within the circle of life,
not so far away that I can't reach you.

Amen

"The things I thought were so important -- because of the effort I put into them -- have turned out to be of small value. And the things I never thought about, the things I was never able to either to measure or to expect, were the things that mattered."  Thomas Merton


pray for me that I may recognize what matters and cherish it.
Let me go to the wheel of life and ride along cherishing the small, the unnoticed, the ordinary moment.
As I did sometimes with you, although sometimes I faltered, I fell, I ignored.
I pray for you, with all my heart.
I pray for you to hear my prayers and keep them close to your vast soul.

Amen.

"Nature has given to men one tongue, but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak."  Epictetus

"Deep listening is like dying.  It's a relinquishing of control... a giving over into the art of what comes. Without such an opening, conditioning stays intact,and natural innocence disappears into an arrogance which knows it has an answer for everything."  Tom Lutes


Let me listen, give up arrogance.
Let me be more like you, listening with my whole heart.
I pray to listen to others, to myself, to the world around me.

I pray for you always and forever, loving soul that you are.


Amen.

"The mystical life has always recognized that to come deeper into the divine presence within, you need to practice detachment. 
When you begin to let go, it is amazing how enriched your life becomes. 

False things, which you have desperately held on to, move away very quickly from you, 

Then what is real, what you love deeply, and what really belongs to you, comes deeper into you. 
Now no one can ever take them away from you."  Anam Cara



Love belongs to me, now and forever.
No one can ever take that away from me.

Physical death can not remove it,
The absence of physical presence can not destroy it.

 You are too great, your soul too strong to be taken away.
 I pray to keep that close to me, to live and breathe it.

I pray for you, my humble father.
my love belongs to your soul, your being, your essence.

Amen.

"O my love, for the first time in my life, my eyes are wide open.
 I see the wind, I see the trees, everything is clear in my heart."  John Lennon


Let me see with wide open eyes.
Let everything be clear in my heart.
Make me an instrument of your peace.
I pray for your courage and beauty to shine its light on me.
I pray for you to be with me although I have to trust in something I can not see.


Amen.

"Anam Cara - teacher, soul love, companion, spirtual guide, with your "anam cara"  you share your innermost self, there is recognition and belonging in this love,
you are understood as you are, you are home."  John O'Donohue

I pray for everyone to have an "anam cara"  in their life.
I am blessed to have known that love
 I hold it in my heart.
 I took it for granted.
What else, who else am I taking for granted.

I pray for you, anam cara.
spirit of love.
eternal father.

Amen

 "May you recognize in your life the presence, power and light of your soul.
  May you realize that you are never alone that your soul in its brightness and belonging connects you intimately with the rhythm of the universe.
  May you have respect for your own individuality and difference.
  May you realize the shape of your soul is unique,
  that you have a special destiny here that behind the facade of your life there is something beautiful, good and eternal happening."   John O'Donohue Anam Cara


 This morning I'm looking for rebirth.
 A part of my destiny has been realized, not perfectly, but humanly, in my own way.
 I found myself lacking in many ways, yet at the time I thought I was doing it right.
 I pray to be better next time.

 I pray instead of running from my own soul's individuality I run toward it, no matter how alone I may be.

 I pray to accept wanting to belong, yet standing apart.

 I pray to accept who I am and who I am becoming.

   I pray to let the seas of change,
   the winds of new days
   and the flowering of all that comes into my life
   to bring me to my new destiny.

    Amen

Today is seven months.  Seven months and still I see you sitting in your chair smiling at me.
I don't know how or why you disappeared. I know your body was tired and broken, but how is it that your mind wasn't ?
Your mind your heart your soul your eyes were still as clear and luminous as ever.
So confusing.

This disappearing leaves me in a waiting pattern.
Waiting to see what comes next, how and when we can meet again.
I have no future.
The future is a broken branch.

I pray to be all right in the here and now.
ok divine one,  please send me some strength.

I pray for the expansive soul that you are,
to keep me in the heart of your heart.

Amen.

"There is a lantern in the soul.  Meister Eckhart says there is a place in the soul that neither space nor time nor flesh can touch.  This is the eternal place within us.
The deepest things that you need are not elsewhere.  They are here and now in that circle of your own soul."  John O'Donohue, Anam Cara




in the lantern in my soul,
your light is there.
I do not find you in outward things,
places or people, I find you inside my own tranquility.

"You are an eternal essence; this is the ancient reason why you are here."   Anam Cara

I pray for your eternal essence, not that I understand it, but I have faith in it.
For all that you were on earth and all that you are in that eternal essence, I always knew
that you could not be destroyed, and that is what remains, the eternal essence of you.

Amen.

"Love is patient.
 Love is kind.
 it bears all things, believes all things, endures all things."   1Corinthians 13


This is the chapter to bear all things, endure all things.
I pray to know how to endure, how to believe, how to be patient and kind,
to know love and to practice it, day by day.
with every thought and every act.

You are my example.
You are my guide.

 I pray for you out in the circle of eternity.
 Here and there and everywhere.

 Amen.

"Being here is so much."  Rilke

"The soul has no limits."  Heraclitus

"Meister Eckhart was once asked where does the soul of a person go when the person dies? He said, no place.  Where else would the soul be going?  Where else is the eternal world?  It can be nowhere other than here.  The soul of the person goes no place because there is no place else to go. The only difference between us and the dead is that they are now in an invisible form.  You cannot see them with the human eye.  But you can sense the presence of those you love who have died.  With the refinement of your soul, you can sense them.   You feel that they are near."    John O"Donohue/  Anam Cara


In whatever space you occupy now
I want to believe you are close by.
In all my troubles and fears
I want to know I can talk to you.
In all my loneliness and longing
I want to know you hear me.
Sometimes I don't believe you are here,
but I want to, more than anything.

You live in a "circle of eternity."

Why do I doubt myself ? I let others persuade me it's not true.

 I join you in the circle of eternity.
 And I will never leave.

No matter what anyone says.

Amen.

"The dead bless us, we do not need to grieve for the dead.
Why should we grieve for them? 
They are now in a place where there is no more shadow, darkness, loneliness, isolation or pain. 
They are home.
They are with God from whom they came. 
They have returned to the nest of their identity within the great circle of God.
God is the greatest circle of all, the largest embrace in the universe which holds visible and invisible, temporal and eternal as one."   John O'Donohue/ Anam Cara

I want to believe all of that.
I'm not there yet.
Where is that place ?
Where can I find you now?
You occupy a greater space than when you were here.
Everything I do, say, think, feel, you are there with me.
You are on "the other side of the air,"  yet within my breath,
because every breath I take I hold you in that space.

    I like to believe that your soul is free.
    free as it wants to be.
   
    I have to see where my soul now wants to go,
    what it wants to do while it is still here.
    I know that my soul wants nothing more than to honor your life,
    your soul, your love.
    I pray for that. 

   Amen.

"When you really love someone you shine the light of your soul on him or her."  John O'Donohue

 I pray to shine the light of my soul on all those I love.
I know I let my light shine on you,
it was so easy.
Now I need to learn how to shine it on others with ease.
It's the only way.

I pray for your beautiful soul to be at ease,
to be in the great beyond and  yet remain with a solid slender thread
with all of us, gently tethered to this world and all of us who love you.

Amen.

 "Our real journey in life is interior:
it is a matter of growth, deepening,
and of an ever greater surrender to the creative action of
love and grace in our hearts."   Thomas Merton


I'm thankful I was born into this life
with my mother and father to guide me.
I'm thankful I have a life, let me not waste it,

"We are all put on earth for a little space that we may learn to bear the beams of love."  William Blake

I pray to "learn to bear the beams of love."

I pray for you out in the realm beyond what I know, what I understand, what I see.
and today you will be with us. in each and every moment.

Amen

"Song Without Borders"
  
you are my song

"I live my life in circles"
I
pray not to tiptoe
through life
to march into  it,
a soldier of my snowy dreams.

"you have been living a life that cannot die
 there is an indestructible life that is in every person,
 when someone is departing they are reminded
 of love that lasts, that they have known something that lasts,
 one can never die."  Brother David

 We belong together.

 "i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere") e.e. cummings

   I pray to breathe all this in and make it part of me
   because if I don't I can't go on.

Loesch mir die Augen aus
Extinguish both my eyes: I see you still;
Slam shut my ears: I can still hear you talking;
Without my mouth i can implore your will
And without feet: Towards you i keep on walking.
Break off my arms: I shall still hold you tight;
My heart will yet embrace you all the same.
Suppress my heart: My brain knows no deterrent;
And if at last you set my brain aflame
I carry you still on my bloodstream’s current.
-- Rainer Maria Rilke


Did I love you enough,show you.
I feel guilty those last moments after,
I was cold.
I can not live those moments
I will die from them,
I pray you forgive me, my failings, my lack,
my unfeeling feeling.
I pray you understand, that you weren't confused, or lost.
I pray you found what you needed to find out in the after.
I pray hard that I can feel again.
and not close off.
I pray for your silent guidance.

Amen.

"It is not possible to live without the unknown."  Rene Char

"Let life happen to you.  Believe me: life is in the right, always. "  Rilke


I'm saying my prayers that" life is in the right," and that I must live with the unknown.
 I want to be on steady ground, yet shifting landscapes have me
losing my footing.
I pray to let life be in the right,
there are so many things I would change.
Maybe changing life isn't the way to "let life happen."
It feels like more and more letting go rides up in the future,
and all the stops I try and put on life
slip away.
I pray for confusion to lift
I pray for your soul to spirit me to that unknown place
where we can ride together.

Amen

"Follow the path until life is over."  Balthus


Moving forward with you,
that's how I pray now.
There are beginnings and middles in life,
I don't believe in endings.
I pray to find a new beginning
and to gift others the way you gifted me,
with your presence, your humor, your wit, and intelligence,
your love and compassion.
to love others as you love me, without wanting anything
in return, to be in the process, not looking for a product,
of anything I do.
How to move forward in that way is still a mystery,
I pray to have a whisper of an answer.

Amen.


I pray for your immense beautiful soul
to soar...

"I'm waiting for the dawn to break"


I dreamt of you last night.
a dream as short as a haiku
in a terraced field, high on a hill
you sat at a long table,
laughing and smiling.
I was down below at another table, too far from you to hear me if I called to you.
Instead I offered sign language, why the language of the deaf?  I don't know.
I signed to you, I love you, with fingers outstretched.  Do I know how to sign I love you?
In the dream I knew.
At first you signed back, a- ok sign?  rounding your fingers, your thumb to your index finger, laughing as you did it.
and then after you saw my sign,
you tried to sign to me
I love you.
smiling both of us, we signed to each other.
The dream was over.
I coudn't reach you high on that hill.
I was happy to see you,
happy that you were happy.
I pray for your happiness, if that's part of what the next life is.

I don't know what happens after this earth leaves our souls.
There are so many questions.  and so few answers.

Amen.

My prayer today is silence, to escape from the hurly burly of everyday life and go inside.
I can meet you there.

As I pray each and every day, today I pray for your soul to be peaceful and joy filled.

Amen.

"I've climbed out to stand here in the sun. One moment I was at the bottom of a dark, fearful narrowness....."  Rumi


I am still climbing out to stand here in the sun.
You were my sun.
I pray to meet you and stand in the sun again.
I pray to not stay too long in "the bottom of a dark fearful narrowness."

Amen.

"I had thought that maman's death would make me someone "strong" acceding as I might to worldly indifference.  But it has been quite the contrary:  I am even more fragile." Roland Barthes


 I am more fragile,
 and not as strong as I thought was.
 I pray to you to see me through and let me be fragile if that is what needs to be.
 You showed your strength and your fragility both with grace and love.

 Amen.

"A mountain keeps an echo deep inside itself that's how I hold your voice."  Rumi


I pray, like the mountain with an echo inside itself,
to hold your voice, both your inner and outer voice,
the voice without speaking, without words,
deep inside my soul so that it never goes away.


I pray to keep the thread of you, slender and fragile,
forever tied to me.


Amen.

"The door was open and the house was dark wherefore I called his name although I knew the answer.
The answer this time would be silence."  Seamus Heaney, Human Chain

  I'm a tree born of roots
  your roots and my mother's
  I stand apart
  our roots will always be united,
  in all our lives.
  I pray for your unending soul to be filled with my love for you.
  I pray for you. every day.
  please hear my prayers.

   Amen.

"Everyone is "extremely nice"  - and yet I feel entirely alone." Roland Barthes

 I pray that you watch over me.
 I pray to find a way back to life.

Amen

"Sometimes very briefly, a blank moment - a kind of numbness - which is not a moment of forgetfulness.  This terrifies me."  Roland Barthes

I have these moments.
I want to deny them, push them away, pretend I don't have them
yet there they are.
I pray to have the strength to not deny anything,
darkness, numbness, light, sorrow.
to just take it all, give it my hand, as you gave me yours,
faithfully.
I have a broken heart, may all the broken parts mend together.
I pray for your eternal soul to remain ever with me, ever constant,
forever and ever.
Amen

"Beloved of the Soul"
                Rabbi Eleazar Azikri


beloved souls
reach each other
when matter no longer holds
beloved souls
hear each other
beloved souls
feel each other's touch
king of winds, i am a daughter breeze *
forever in your circle

"Walking on freshly fallen snow"


I do not know where I am going on this "freshly fallen snow"
I know you came before me and flowered my path
I pray although unseen you are still flowering my path
I walk on new ground.

I pray for love to guide me, for love to save me, for love to be my only path.

Amen.

The truth that many people never understand, until it is too late, is that the more you try to avoid suffering the more you suffer because smaller and more insignificant things begin to torture you in proportion to your fear of being hurt.   Thomas Merton


I pray to let go of avoiding suffering,
to not get "tossed away" by suffering, just to let it be.
I pray to not let the fear of being hurt prevent me from loving, from forgiveness,
from living.
I pray to you for your everlasting love and guidance
to see me through.

Amen.

The Whole World Is Your Own

"I tell you one thing -
If you want peace of mind,
do not find fault with others.
Rather learn to see your own faults.
Learn to make the whole world your own.
No one is a stranger, my child;
this whole world is your own."
 Sri Sarada Devi


I pray to see my own faults
and embrace them as a mother embraces her child
as a father holds his daughter.
The whole world is my own?
So many days it doesn't feel that way,
I pray to not be a stranger to this world,
to see the whole world as my own.
I pray for your soul, beautiful and bold, to light up the sky above me,
so I can see the light....

Amen.

"Break into the peace within, hold attention in stillness,
And in the world outside.
You will ably master the ten thousand things.
All things rise and flourish,
then go back to their roots."  Lao Tzu


In all the heavens, in all the skies
under each cloud, everything comes home.
I pray to reach as far as I can reach in this life,
to give up holding on, to keep things close yet let them go.
To flourish as I live,
and then go back to my roots.
I pray your way is kind and swift,
loving and sweet,
and that your way and mine come together
in all the heavens and all the skies.
Amen.

I still wear the veil
I took it off with you,
it was easy.
I saw only love,
I was only love then.
You wore no veil
You had no mask.
Love was your only face.

I pray that I may know that face in my own.
I pray for bright eyes,
like yours,
full of joy
and compassion for all.

Amen.

No one was ever sweeter to me than you.
I was never sweeter to anyone than you.
Which came first?  I don't know.
How does it work love?
Do we love someone first and they respond?  or are we loved first by someone
and then we love them back?
or is there some mixing of love that occurs simultaneously?

I pray to take the sweetness of love
and cherish it, keep it close to me
yet give it away.

Amen Amen Amen.

"Bitter is made sweet through love,
copper becomes gold through love,
love heals all pain
love brings the dead to life"  Rumi

 I dreamt of you last night.
 You were older, smiling, smaller.
  I pray for your smiling face
  to look on me with forgiveness and joy.
  I pray to look on myself with forgiveness and joy.
  I shall only pass this way once,
  I pray to take it all in,
  and do the work I was meant to do
  on my assignment on earth.
 
Amen.

 "In joy and sorrow all are equal.
        Thus be guardian of all, as of yourself."
                                       Shantideva


    I pray to be kinder to myself, especially in the moments when I feel I cannot.
    I'm still afraid of the feelings I have, that they are bad, that they will never go away,
    that I'll be stuck forever.
    Lately, I've been taking the pain, the sorrow, the grief, the fear and sending it to sit in a big trunk for a little while.
    Just a while.

    I pray to send my spirit to the clouds, the sky, the air where you are, that I may float around with you for awhile
    and come back to earth when I'm ready.

     I pray to know your soul, to believe in its existence, even when I cannot.
     I pray for all that I can not see.
     I pray for all that I can not hear.
     I pray for love to keep me with you.
     Forever.

     Amen.

When I am liberated by silence,
when I am no longer involved
in the measurement of life, but in the living of it,
I can discover a form of prayer in which
there is effectively no distraction.
My whole life becomes a prayer.
My whole silence is full of prayer.
The world of silence in which I am immersed
contributes to my prayer.
                                    Thomas Merton


I am looking forward to the day when my whole life is a prayer.
Your life was a prayer
and you are my brilliant example of prayer in action.
I pray to live my life as a prayer.
I pray for your soul to be safe and peaceful, looking down on me
guiding me toward love.


Amen.
Amen.
Amen.

"A fresh attitude starts to happen when we look to see that yesterday was yesterday, and now it is gone; today is today and now it is new. It is like that - every hour, every minute, it is changing.  If we stop observing change, then we stop seeing everything as new."   Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

I pray to go through my frustration and anger that things change, that life is impermanent.
I can't stand that fact. and I fight it every step of the way.
I pray to allow anger and frustration to emerge, to not stand it its way, to give it its life and allow it when it's ready to change and transform,
it might not happen this minute, this day, or even this year, I pray to bow before every unliberated, ungood feeling I have with reverence for all life even the messy parts.

I pray for your liberated soul, changing and beautiful to stay in my orbit, to watch over me, and guide me through this life and beyond.

Amen, amen amen....

This morning I pray to be released from the responsiblility I feel that I did something wrong, so wrong.
I go over the day it happened. and it's all a bad dream.
I pray to forgive.
I pray to learn how to live now
in a world I don't like anymore.
I pray to be grateful for the world
despite your absence.
I pray to believe in the next world.
I pray for your soul.

Amen.

"Last Night as I was Sleeping"  Antonio Machado

Last night as I was sleeping I dreamt !
marvelous error !
that I had a beehive here inside my heart
And the golden bees were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures."


There's no leaning on you anymore to get me out of this,
just as you have a pattern of life
there is a pattern to life for me too.
letting go means moving, not on, not forward, just moving in the pattern of life.
And "being generous enough to allow change in my life."
I pray to be brave enough to allow change in my life.
I pray for your soul. always.
and every day.

Amen

"Don't surrender your loneliness
 so quickly
 let it cut more deep."  Hafiz


     I pray for your soul
     to not be lonely
     to know our love for you
     in the soul world
     I pray to know loneliness
     and not run from it.
     
Amen

"I no longer desire what I used to desire.  I must wait - supposing that such a thing could happen, for a new desire to form."  Roland Barthes

I don't know what my desires are, they all relate to the past, and I can not change it.
I have to find a "new path to the waterfall."
I pray to be guided to find that way and to walk it.
I pray for your soul to be at peace, forgetting all earthly cares.
Amen.

I am loving you every minute, as I loved you here on earth, love doesn't change.

I am never far from you,
my heart is always with you.
your immortal heart is here with me.
I will find you,
we will find each other
in the heavens and the galaxies, or the planets beyond this one,
my soul will travel to yours.

"I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."   John 16:20

Into this river of life, endless tears flow
Life is everlasting,
 I pray.
I will someday swim into the great ocean
to join you there.
I pray to do what needs to be done, until that moment comes.

Saint Therese of Lisieux
Living on Love is sailing unceasingly
sowing peace and joy in every heart.
Beloved Pilot, charity impels me,
for I see you in my sister souls.
In its brightness I sail straight ahead
I've my motto written on my sails.
"Living on Love"

I will live on your love,
my eternal sailor,
my devoted sailor, beloved sailor.
I pray for your guidance to help me steer my sails
and that you may keep me in the harbor of your love.


"Living on Love is banishing every fear.
Every memory of past faults.
I see no imprint of my sins.
In a moment love has burned everything."

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, loving someone deeply gives you courage."  Lao Tzu

My teachers are Lao Tzu, Jesus, Buddha, St. Theresa of Avila,
and your beloved St. Francis of Assisi.
Humbly I read their words. take them in, and pray to know their wisdom.
Your loving hands still guide me, your heart carries mine.
I pray each day for your eternal bright loving soul.
and I pray to find you again when the world above calls me.

Amen.

I am of the nature to grow old.
There is no way to escape growing old.
I am of the nature to have ill-health.
There is no way to escape having ill-health.
I am of the nature to die.
There is no way to escape death.
All that is dear to me and everyone I love
are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
My actions are my only true belongings.
I cannot escape the consequences of my actions.
My actions are the ground on which I stand.
buddha

        I pray to live right action.
        to accept my weaknesses,
        and forgive myself for all my shadows.
        I pray to accept change when I cannot
        I pray to give up on the past,
        to send it up to the clouds and let it all drift away.

          I pray for your guidance and your love to shelter me always.
          I pray for you, my most humble teacher.

           When Warren Buffett was interviewed and asked what is the most important advice you ever got?
            He replied, "My mother and father taught me how to love."

            Thank you for teaching me how to love, my most precious gift,
             a gift for eternity.

"When I count my blessings, I count you twice."  Irish saying

 I left in the golden hour
 the air felt golden, the afternoon October light was on everything I passed,
 a loving light.
 the earth felt golden.

 I don't ask God why you are gone.
 as you would say, "why do people blame God,"
 we all must die.
 our bodies were created to live and to die.

   I still ask every day,
   where are you now?
   how can I see you again?
   how can I get in touch with you?
   I pray for an answer.

    Amen.
 

As you leave this place
may the Living Lord go with you;
May he go behind you, to encourage you,
beside you, to befriend you,
above you, to watch over you,
beneath you, to lift you from your sorrows,
within you, to give you the gifts of faith, hope, and love,
and always before you, to show you the way.
benediction - blair monie

You will always be in my world.
I will find a way for the unseen and the unspoken, the unheard and the unknown
to have a place.
When the earth stops
and the moon doesn't dream
and the sun goes home
the eternal world I will live in
will always have you.

 I pray for this, and I pray and pray.

 Amen.

"He has reached the end of the way:
 He has crossed the river of life.
 All that he had to do is done:
 He has become one with all life."  The Dhammapada

   "Cross the river bravely."
   You crossed the river of life bravely,
   and I know all that you had to do is done,
   I pray to accept that and to have faith that you have become one with all life,
   as someday I will.
   I pray to cross the river bravely,
   and do all that I have to do.

   Amen

The Day Sky
"Let us be like
Two falling stars in the day sky.
 Let no one know of our sublime beauty
As we hold hands with God
And burn
 Into a sacred existence that defies -
That surpasses
Every description of ecstasy
And love."   Hafiz


It's getting harder and I don't know why.
I pray to not ask why.
Nothing seems to ease it.
I know  my mind can not understand.
Let me give up trying.
I pray for strength, fortitude and faith.
The faith of everyday, getting up and surrendering to what I can not understand.
Amen.

"Let nothing disturb you.
 Let nothing frighten you.
 All things pass away.
 God never changes.
 Patience obtains all things.
 He who has God lacks for nothing.
 God alone suffices."   Teresa of Avila

I am in your sky. you are in mine.
Wherever the winds take you I am there.
Wherever the clouds move you, I am there.
I am in your heart, the boundless heart of your soul.
The Divine is in me and in you.
We are one, part of each other eternally,
world without end. Amen

Several Times in the Last Week
Ever since Happiness heard your name
It has been running through the streets
Trying to find you.

And several times in the last week,
God Himself has even come to my door-
Asking me for your address!

Once I said,
“God,
I thought You knew everything.
Why are You asking me
Where Your lovers live?”

And the Beloved replied,

Indeed, Hafiz, I do know Everything –
But it is fun playing dumb once in a while.
And I love intimate chat
And the warmth of your heart’s fire.

Maybe we should make this poem into a song-
I think it has potential!

How far does this refrain sound,
For I know it is a Truth:

Ever since Happiness heard your name,
It has been running through the streets
Trying to find you.
And several times in the last week,
God Himself has come to my door-
So sweetly asking for your address,
Wanting the beautiful warmth of your heart’s fire.


October 9th

I pray for God to keep you in everlasting peace,

Amen

Oct 10th
I dreamt of you last night
I don't know how it was when you left.
by what means you were carried away,
what hands reached out for yours,
what souls smiled as they greeted you.
I know you didn't want to go.
I know you love us all
and we will carry your love with us always,
there is a golden thread of love
stitched from my soul to yours.

Oct. 11th
I'm confused about so many things
how to go on? how to move forward?
To not make your leaving an excuse to not live.
You would scold me for that.
and yet I know you would understand.
reach your arms out to me
put my head on your chest
and make it all better.
I am still a child.
maybe I always will be.
I don't want to hold you back,
I don't want to keep you from your destiny,
yet, I want you to be near always.
I pray for the counsel, the wisdom, the fortitude to walk the path of life
from moment to moment, and not let fear paralyze me.

I bow my head in prayer, a humble servant to the Divine.

Amen.

"Just as we are all born at the perfect moment for our energy to enter this earth, there is a perfect moment for us to leave this earth."  Sogyal Rinpoche

I pray to trust in all that I cannot See.
I pray to believe in what I cannot know with my Mind
I pray for your spirit and soul to travel  far and wide to places I cannot imagine,
and I pray that your travels will  always keep you close to me.

Amen

  When I look for you out there, I don't find you.
       It is only when I look inward, you are with me.

      I pray for peace, for you, for me, for everyone.
      I pray for faith, for what I can't see.
      I pray that those of us left here on earth, cherish each other, as you cherished us.
     
      Amen

Stuck Prayer


I pray for nothing.
you, are always my prayer.

"Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering."  Roland Barthes

I pray to honor the rhythm of suffering, to not make myself "wrong."

I pray to the Divine to open my heart to myself, and to everyone I meet, everyone I love and cherish.
I atone for errors I made, they are in the past.

I pray to stay on the path toward light, the path to becoming a loving, forgiving person.
 
And always I pray for you living in eternal life.

Amen.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. 
Amen

"The best way to be hopeful is to do hopeful things."  Daniel Berrigan


With life and love beside me,
I follow the order of the day.
Live this day, let go of past misdeeds, past mistakes.
I cherish your love and commitment to life,
how can I do anything except follow your guidance.
With this I pray to the Divine, keep me steady on my path.

Amen.

"The desires I had before her death ( while she was sick) can no longer be fulfilled, for that would mean it is her death that allows me to fulfill them- her death might be a liberation in some sense with regard to my desires.  But her death has changed me, I no longer desire what I used to desire.  I must wait - supposing that such a thing could happen - for a  new desire to form, a desire following her death." Roland Barthes

 I throw out all the past desires.
 they don't make sense.
 I pray for this new beginning to honor you,
 your love for me,
 my love for you,
 in all that I say and do and think and all that I am, I pray for this.

 "Let yourself be inert, wait till the incomprehensible power... that has broken you restores you a little, I say a little, for henceforth you will always keep something broken about you.  Tell yourself this, too, for it is a kind of pleasure to know that you will never love less, that you will never be consoled, that you will constantly remember more and more."
    Letter from Proust to George de Lauris, whose mother has just died.  ( from Roland Barthes)

  I pray to take these broken words, these broken prayers and make something of them, something not whole, something pieced together
  into light.


   

November 10th
"People tell you to keep your "courage" up. But the time for courage was when she was sick, when I took care of her and saw her suffering, her sadness, and when I had to conceal my tears. Constantly one had to make a decision, put on a mask, and that was courage. 
- Now courage means the will the live and there's all too much of that."
  Roland Barthes

Now I ask for courage
from the Divine, the Beloved
from you.
It's all a dream,
me here, you somewhere else,
when I feel as though you are still among us.
I pray for new courage, new strength, new wisdom.

Amen.

Sunday Haiku
 old decaying tree,
 new growth with leaves and branches
 all at once I live.

Dream Fable

"Your prayers are your light
 Your devotion is your strength
 Sleep is the enemy of both

 Your life is the only opportunity that life can give you
 If you ignore it, if you waste it
 You will only turn to dust."   Rabia

Dream Fable 2
"In my dream I was going in the wrong direction, I knew it, yet went despite my knowing.
After traveling a short distance, I wanted to head home.
All the people waiting to go back said you have to wait a long time.
Someone appeared and said, "all my blessings are good, anything is possible."  

I pray to know my way and to head home.
I pray to know that all my blessings are good.
and anything is possible.

I pray for you, my beloved.
I pray for your safe journey out in the beyond.
I pray to live my life and head home.

Amen.

"All my blessing are good. Anything is possible."  from my dream last night, an angel said  to me.
 
I pray to appreciate all my blessings.
I pray to live through this and to go on
until life on earth ends and you come to collect me.

Amen.

"Listen, stand up in prayer during the night for you are a candle and at night a candle stands and burns."  Rumi

    I pray to be a candle burning brightly for you.
   I pray to stand like a candle with an eternal light.
   I pray to not stand in darkness.
   I pray to call in the light for me and for you.

  Out there in the distance I see you somewhere burning brightly.

  Amen.

"At last you have departed and gone to the Unseen
what marvelous route did you take from this world." Rumi


  I want to know the world of the soul
  I want to see it, taste it, touch it.
  It's no good just imagining it.
  I pray to know you are all right.
  I pray to know there's nothing to fear for you.
  I pray for you to be like a golden star
   living eternally in a soul sky.

   Amen.

I pray for continued guidance to a land where worries fade and joy has a new name.

Amen.

Peace be with you.... and with me.

  Sometimes I didn't say or do the right thing.
  Sometimes I was selfish, thinking only of what I wanted to do.
  Sometimes I was careless, sloppy in word and deed.
  Sometimes I was angry and fear took over.
  Sometimes I went away too long.
  Sometimes I didn't appreciate what I had.
  Sometimes I watched you work while I stood by.
  Sometimes I was afraid to talk to you.
  Sometimes I didn't say what I meant.
  Sometimes I brushed you off at times I feel now it was important to have responded.
  I don't know why I did all these things.
  And nothing I do or say now will change them.
  Forgive me. For everything.
  Forgive me, for my weakness and my selfishness.
  Forgive me for my inadequacies.
  Forgive me for my imperfection.
  Forgive me for my lack of courage.
  Forgive me for all my flaws and missteps.
  I loved you through it all.
  I love you still.
  I pray for you each morning with all that I know how to pray with.
  I pray to a God I can't see or know.
  I pray to a Source I don't understand.
  I pray that whoever took you from me
  Keeps you safe and peaceful.

   Haiku/ September 26, 2010 East River

     Strong rays of light come
     A lifting of the dark clouds
     Temporary sun.

"Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace, where there is hatred, let me sow love.
 where there is despair, hope, where there is darkness, light, where there is sadness, joy.
 O Divine Master, grant that I may not seek to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love, for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."  St Francis of Assisi

  Your favorite prayer, now mine too.
   I recite it by heart. I say it for you.
   I love you and live for your eternal life,
   and for my eternal life.
  I pray each day for you.  You are in the heart of my heart.
          Amen.

   Somewhere over the rainbow

  "Love has thousands of names, millions of faces.  It will give you everything and ask for only one thing in return - that it may come and wear your face, that you will let it use your name." Daphne Rose Kingma

     I pray to take the love you gave me, give to me, and see it in everyone and in everything.
     I pray to bless everyone with your love for me and my love for you.
     I pray to walk in love, to be love.
     I pray to not let sadness carry me away, far from love, but to only bring me closer.

     I pray for your soul. 
     wherever it is over the rainbow....


    Amen

Morning Glory2

I don't know what to pray for
I want you back
that's not going to happen.
I pray for your spirit, everyday.
maybe spirits don't need our prayers
I don't know.
I speak to the Divine and ask that you are taken care of...
in whatever ways souls need care.
We cared for you with our love
and you knew it.
and appreciated it.
You were our love.
You are our love.

For myself:
 I pray just to live,
 to not waste this life you gave me.

Peace be with you
and also with me....

Amen.

"morning glory"

 I pray for you
 I pray for your eternal life
 I pray to be with you,
 forever.

   Amen

"All beings are blossoms blossoming in a blossoming universe."  Soen Roshi
  
"The September sun warms my face
 with happiness
 Life returns to life"

Every day I pray for you
hear my prayer
I pray for your soul
to be in light
to feel my love
eternally
and I pray for myself
to blossom

Amen.

"The first step in becoming more patient is giving up the need to fix or change things - it is having the awareness that some things are the way they are for a reason, even if we don't think so or can't see it.  If something is not changeable, try to see it as not broken.  Try to find a little faith in the process and the unfolding of things.  Despite our belief that things need our assistance, most of the amazing things that happen in the world occur without our help, interference, or assistance.  There is a power in the world.  Trust that all things are moving toward the good, even when we don't recognize it or see it.  That is faith.. Having patience is having faith."   Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

  I pray for patience to accept what my mind can not accept.
  I pray for the space to find faith.
  I don't know why I have to endure the unendurable.
  I don't know why I have to accept the unacceptable.
  I only know that I can not change it.
 
   Amen.

"This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.  First, to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet."   Rumi

I pray "to take a step without feet"
to let go of this life I'm clinging to.
You are a rose,
in eternal blossoming.

Amen.

There are no words this morning.
only regret.
"I have no regrets," you told my mother.
And I have so many.
That last night I should have known,
should have believed it was more than just pain from compression,
should have stayed awake the whole night long
I can not undo what I have done.
is it going to haunt me forever?
If only I hadn't been what I am, what I was,
I could have done something to help you.
I did only silly things, and they didn't help.
What plagues me now is that you counted on me,
depended on me to help you, save you
and I didn't.
it's not your forgiveness I am looking for,
I believe you are in a place that doesn't need even the concept of forgiveness
is it my own I want.
and it may never come.
and that is too much to bear.
why am I the way I am?
I have no answers.
If I could be like you for even a day the world would change.
I pray this morning for myself,
to see myself for what I am.
If I could be more like you things would be different.
I know wherever you are, there's happiness
because you are there.

"The Day"

   On this day shall atonement be made for you, to cleanse you; from all your sins you shall be clean before the Lord."  Lev. 16:30
  It is time to let go of past transgressions.
  To start anew.
 "The old has passed away, the new has come."

  A new beginning? I don't know where to find it.
  The mournful melody I sing,  I don't know how to stop.
  I pray for you every day, I pray to know your soul in whatever form it is now,
  yet not keep you from your destiny.
  I pray to live life.
   And on this day I pray to be forgiven for all the past, to be forgiven by anyone I have offended, for any sin I committed in stubbornness or in error, for the sin committed by word of mouth, by deed, by thought, I let the past go. 
 I shut out all the past, all regrets, all sins, all remorse and guilt.  I send my sins into the sea.  lost among the waves. forever.

land diary

You are an ocean
sending your rhythm of waves,
a hand reaching out.
I am a small sea
waiting.
Pray for me, that I may enter your waters.


 "It is the oceans in which seas empty their water while oceans do not seek any outlet.
  Oceans are bigger than seas.
 A sea is more or less enclosed and separated from the larger ocean by land."

sea diary

this morning at dawn
I felt I could not continue
I don't know where is the next step
What am I here to accomplish?
And how will I make that happen?
I sat by the sea
waiting for the divine, for you, to send me a sign.
No sign appeared.
No voices or even light taps on the shoulder.
I walked into the water, too afraid to walk out far enough to not turn back.
Everything scared me, the waves, the undertow, the loneliness of the beach.
And then wet and cold I left the beach
looking for safety.
I pray the biggest prayer I can pray.
HELP

I need liftoff....

"They also serve who only stand and wait"
                             Milton,  ( my father's saying to me)

Standing at the sea
waves at my feet
I am waiting for something
for you
to come back
to send a sign of peace
from beyond
that there is nothing to worry about anymore.
how can I serve you now?
I pray to know.

Amen

" Death is just another event along the way. Death has a universal quality, it is nothing special. It's as common as God, inherent in every moment.
The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic just because the body is rotten - that is all fantasy.  What is found now is found then.  If you find nothing now, you will simply end up with an empty apartment in the City of Death.  If you make love with the Divine now, in the next life you will have the face of satisfied desire.  Death is not going home.  Our home is the heart, our real nature."  Kabir

 river walk

I don't know what to pray for.
Prayer is talking to God?
Am I?
 The goat's naked face reminds me of you
guileless, honest.  curious.

The river stays constant, an ever changing face, yet always the same,
it knows how to stay within its bounds

I watch the cars and school buses on the bridge
tears fill my eyes for no reason other than they exist.

"Does everything move you,"  I said.
"Yes,"  you said.

You always were and you always will be, world with end Amen.

"The beach is empty, but not the ocean beyond."
The Outermost House, Henry Beston

You light on other shores.

My beach is empty.

I can not capture you to bring you back.

Alone, I look out,

gazing at the sea, reluctant to leave.

Godspeed.

Amen.

"Your absence has gone through me
 Like thread through a needle
 Everything I do is
 Stitched with its color." W. S. Merwin


Bird in Flight

This morning I am like

the small gray bird asleep on the sidewalk

waiting for the moment to lift my wings

and fly off.


I pray for your soul in flight

singing as it races toward the light

I pray to the God that is part of you,

part of me, keep your song alive.

"This is the time of teaching. What you teach at this time, through your every word and action right now, will remain as indelible lessons in the hearts of those whose lives you touch, both now and for years to come. We shall set the course for tomorrow today.

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. " The Dalai Lama

You were my first teacher,
my life long teacher.

You gave lessons with your eyes of compassion
your generous heart, your willing attitude, your laughter.
Your kindness was in your every touch

I pray to live the lessons with grace.


Amen.

You gave me the "gift of life."

I pray to honor it.

You gave me love

I pray to respect it.

You, without asking for anything in return, gave everything for me.

I pray to give love without asking.

I pray for both of us.

May we be guided by the light of the world forever.


Amen

"One must be free to be completely a light to oneself. A light to oneself? This light can not be given by another, nor can you light it at the candle of another. If you light it at the candle of another, it is just a candle, it can be blown out." Krishnamurti


I pray to give up understanding.

I pray to throw out logic.

I pray to fall into the miracles that arrive like distant stars

on the banks of my soul.

I pray for your soul to be traveling in full circles

far away and then returning to the circle of life

back home.


Amen.

You built a house for me
and I knocked it down

You built a house for me
and I knocked it down

You built a house for me
and I knocked it down.

Now you are gone
and I have to build it myself.

I pray for help.

Amen.

"I am so small I can barely be seen. How can this great love be inside me? Look at your eyes they're small but they see enormous things." Rumi



Let me mine my gifts and throw a thousand lit stars up into the air

so that I can see your face again.

I pray to see deeper and go wider than ordinary life.

I pray to go beyond what I see here and now.

I pray to know eternity.

Amen.


"The grief you cry out from draws you to union." Rumi

"There is nothing that does not serve the process of your soul's growth."




God sent me an angel to be my father,

my protector, my wise counsel, my friend.


"I offer these roses, just blooming." Du Bellay


I pray that I gave you some peace of mind

I pray that I sometimes made you laugh

that I brought joy to you.

that I shared in your joy for life.



The miracle of you can never be erased, can never be destroyed, can never end.

Although it's dark inside, I pray for light to find its way back to me.

I pray to be guided to love and light.





Amen.

I pray for peace for all life.
May your soul rest eternally.
May the wind in the trees, the birds in the woods, the rain in the air
all sing your name.
Forever.

"Your cause of sorrow

Must not be measured by his 'worth, for then

It hath no end."
                                Shakespeare/ Macbeth


I pray to turn life into something good and worthy of your love and guidance.

I pray to take this sadness and turn it into something brave.

I pray always for your soul, to soar and sail in the air, in the wind, in the sea,

free and whole.


Amen


I pray to God to help me.

"We are not here as human beings having a spiritual experience, we are here as spiritual beings having a human experience." Pierre Teilhard de Chardin




Under our infinite sky

in our earthly infinite

I pray for eternal love

to keep us, to follow us wherever we go.


I pray for you out in the infinite.

"Since love grows within you, so beauty grows.  For love is the beauty of the soul." St. Augustine

"You can't measure love by one moment, one action. We must try to see love in the big picture, not in a single detail." Elizabeth Kubler Ross




I pray for your forgiveness

for all the acts of love and kindness I withheld

and all the words of love I kept to myself

I'll say now you are the love in my life, you always were and you always will be.



Amen

September 1st



Hear my prayer.

Know my heart.

I pray that the kindness I know

from your soul

hears me.


I pray to cross over

the bridge of faith



"Follow the path until life is over."

Balthus

Aug 30th



"Love is at its best when it is given away"


I pray to give love

to know LOVE.


I pray to keep going, to honor you in everything I say and do.

I pray your love guides me forever.




Aug 31st


"Knowing means always knowing more. Always going further. And with infinite, silent patience, being determined to remember the pathway." Balthus



I pray for knowing.

I pray to remember the pathway.

I pray for compassion, "to suffer with others, but also to listen to them, hear and understand them."

May I walk a new step each day.

A brave step.

A compassionate step.

Aug 28th



"It is love alone that gives worth to all things."

St. Theresa of Avila


I pray a simple prayer for you.

to know your love in every moment.


I walk with you in the city,beside you in the country.

I walk in silence, I walk in conversation with you.

I pray for your peace.

I pray for mine too.

I pray for eternalness.

I pray for the Great.

I pray for patience.

I pray for humility.

I pray for tenderness.

I pray for gentleness.

I pray to walk in my own footsteps.



I pray to have faith in all that is unseen.




Aug 29th.



"Open your hands if you want to be held."

Rumi



I pray for your loving gaze to follow me all my life.

I pray that we reach some distant star together.

I pray for openess to know love in all its forms.

I pray to recognize divinity.

Gamblers and Spirits

August 27th


It starts in the night, under the moon still lighting up the sky.

Then in the morning before the sun sends light into the day

I'm still tossing and turning.


I am a beggar with a bowl in my hands

asking for prayers.



"Gamble everything for love, if you're a true human being.

If not, leave this gathering." Rumi


I pray to be a gambler.

I pray to have the courage to feel this love

and let it break my heart over and over for you.


"Stop the words now

Open the window in the center of your chest

and let the spirits fly in and out." Rumi


I pray for the flight of our spirits.

August 26th The Arrival of Fr. Peter

	♫
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		Google, me (2)		Reminder: gratitude @ Wed Aug 25 8:30am - 9:30am (maryann.deleo@gmail.com)‎ - i M grateful for your love On Wed, Aug 25, 2010 at 8:20 AM, Google Calendar <calendar …		Aug 25
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		me, sacw (2)		from Peter Hayes, OSA to the Prior St. Augustine's Cork‎ - Hello Maryann, Delighted to offer Pete a bed on arrival in Cork. Will meet him at Airport. Fr Pat …		Aug 24
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		Dotty DeLeo		from Dot		Aug 24
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		To: Dai, Elizabeth, ...		11‎ - August 26th "Love is never so great that it can't be expanded." Dominic Anthony De …		6:42 am
		To: me (2)		Inbox Daily Agenda for Maryann DeLeo as of 4:42am‎ - i m grateful you came into my life i m grateful i had you so long i m grateful for fr. peter On …		5:53 am
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		To: sacw		from Maryann De Leo, American cousin to Peter Hayes‎ - Dear Fr.Pat Moran, I'm disobeying Fr. Peter by responding to your email. He didn't want …		Aug 25
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		To: Julie Holland, MD		hbo‎ - hi Julie, I contacted Kary Antholis at hbo about ur project. He works in LA. I thought he was a …		Aug 23
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		To: Monica, Rafael		please forgive me...‎ - Sorry Monica and Rafi, I haven't read the proposal for the Cuban spy story. been having some …		Aug 22
		To: me (2)		Inbox Reminder: gratitude @ Sun Aug 22 8:30am - 9:30am (maryann.deleo@gmail.com)‎ - i m grateful that i love you On Sun, Aug 22, 2010 at 8:20 AM, Google Calendar <calendar …		Aug 22
		To: Dai, angie, Elizabeth, ... (3)		Inbox sixth‎ - August 21 Bohemia lies by the sea I keep wanting to return to the way things were Dad, your hand …		Aug 22

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August 26th

"Love is never so great that it can't be expanded."
                                            Dominic Anthony De Leo


     I pray for my love to expand out into the universe
     past planets and stars
     to that infinite space that holds you
     where is it?
     How will I know it?
     How will I see it?
     Questions with no answers
     There is only the feeling
      that you are not far away
      you are here.
      I don't understand how these two concepts can exist,
      contradicting each other.
      There's so much I don't understand about this new world I am in.
      A world within and without, far away and close to me.

      I pray to know the nearness of you
      I pray for strength to not struggle with understanding
      just to surrender to not knowing.

      You came to us
      in a stranger.
      Someone who spoke your words
      someone we grew to love
      in only a few short days.
      Was it a miracle?
      Who told him what to say?
      How did a stranger from the other side of the world
      know?
      More questions and your silence as an answer.
      Maybe the miracle was to find love in him.
      and in that way love expanded.
      I pray to allow love to expand.