"The great secret of death, and perhaps its deeper connection with us, is this: that, in taking from us a being we have loved and venerated, death does not wound us without, at the same time, lifting us toward a more perfect understanding of this being and of ourselves."  Rilke


   I'm not sure I believe you Rainer,
   why couldn't I have  had the more perfect understanding while you were here ?
   I only feel the wound, nothing more.
   there is a loneliness deeper than life.
   and it grows.
   is there a secret of death? , I want to know that the secret is there is no death, and that someday I'll see you again.
   I pray for you, a prayer of love and thankfulness.
   

"What batters you becomes your strength." Rilke


I need a miracle to see me through the battering.
to see beyond my little world, so closed off from the outer world - universe, galaxies, infinite space that is all around me
and that I can't see or understand.

I pray for a miracle for you and for me,
that we may find a way to be in the greater realm together,
unafraid and with grace and love.

I pray for your infinite spirit to be in everlasting peace.

I sing a song to you everyday.
of love and gratitude, and yearning.
I sing your praises, I sing your heart,
I sing you.

may the song go into the eternal space and time,
a place that seems so far yet may be so near.
I pray for you, song of my heart.

First day of spring.

"My mind can't accept it."  Mrs. Lee


My mind can't accept the unacceptable.
Can't believe the unbelievable.
I look for you everywhere.
I pray to find you.
I pray you will find me.

Amen

"The key is to learn to row the boat you've been given." 

"I learned one of the most spiritually productive truths that I now rely on each day of my life: when you do not seek or need external approval, you are at your most powerful. Nobody can disempower you emotionally or psychologically."Caroline Myss



more about water and boats and steering your course.
another quote from her, she said a sailor is at his best in a storm.
this storm I don't know.  it's rocking and upending everything in my boat.
I pray to learn how to row the boat I've been given, that I may be able to get through any storm.

I pray for you, I still don't know if you need my prayers, but Fr. Peter said you do, I'll take his word for it.
I have buckets full of prayers for you.

I pray that you are ok.

I pray that love helps you. my love, our love.

"You are the light behind all perceptions." Jean Klein

"God is a circle whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere."  Euphedocles


You are the light behind everything.
 with your light I can go forward.

With God all around us we are together.

"You see this glass? For me, it is already broken. I enjoy it; I drink out of it. It holds water admirably, sometimes even reflecting the sun in beautiful patterns. If I should tap it, it has a lovely ring to it.
But when I put this glass on a shelf and the wind knocks it over or my elbow brushes it off the table and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, "Of course." But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every moment with it is precious."

             Achaan Chaa

Every moment with you was precious, I recognized the "broken glass" that was your body, I knew it could break, would break,
as my body will break, and every moment with it is precious.

I pray to recognize the broken glass that is my body and all bodies, to recognize their preciousness every moment.

I pray for your soul in the divine presence, all around me.

Amen

"What is mindfulness ?  Mindfulness is the awareness of what one is doing while one is doing it,and of nothing else.  That is, while walking, instead of the usual distracted state of memories, hopes and fears, and so on, a jumble of thoughts and fantasies which have nothing whatever to do with walking, one confines attention to consciousness of bodily movements of the legs and such eye and ear consciousness as is necessary.  The meditator concentrating on these bare essentials thereby clears out of his mind a lot of junk.

Clearly, this is useful to the ordinary living of life as well, for the person who allows his mind to be overgrown by a jungle of irrelevant thoughts is a careless person, and his personal confusion may bring about the harm, or even death, both of himself and others."    Bhikkhu Khantipalo


I pray to be mindful, to not have a mind "overgrown by a jungle of irrelevant thoughts."

I follow you, a mindful soul. 

You are my teacher, in this as in all things.

I pray for your soul to know all this, to know your ever present presence in my life, my soul, my heart.

Amen.

I am your little flower.

May your light surround me.

I pray to blossom from your love.

"In your absence is your presence."  Jean Klein


You are present to me every moment.
Your physical absence painful, overwhelming, confusing.
 It is difficult to live with your physical absence.
 I have to think of you as in another room, a room somewhere I can not even dream of,
 a room with a view, of eternity.

"What is mindfulness ?  Mindfulness is the awareness of what one is doing while one is doing it,and of nothing else.  That is, while walking, instead of the usual distracted state of memories, hopes and fears, and so on, a jumble of thoughts and fantasies which have nothing whatever to do with walking, one confines attention to consciousness of bodily movements of the legs and such eye and ear consciousness as is necessary.  The meditator concentrating on these bare essentials thereby clears out of his mind a lot of junk.

Clearly, this is useful to the ordinary living of life as well, for the person who allows his mind to be overgrown by a jungle of irrelevant thoughts is a careless person, and his personal confusion may bring about the harm, or even death, both of himself and others."    Bhikkhu Khantipalo


I pray to be mindful, to not have a mind "overgrown by a jungle of irrelevant thoughts."

I follow you, a mindful soul. 

You are my teacher, in this as in all things.

I pray for your soul to know all this, to know your ever present presence in my life, my soul, my heart.

Amen.

Clarence Budington Kelland - Father
"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it."


I was fortunate to have you to watch live your life.
 Ability to love, uncommon Courage,  brilliant sense of humor,  unique intelligence,  quick wit, poet's tenderness,
 and so much more.

I pray to have a few of your qualities.

I pray that you know that I value you more and more each day.

I pray for YOU.

Amen.

Love is from the infinite, and will remain until eternity.
The seeker of love escapes the chains of birth and death.
Tomorrow, when resurrection comes,
The heart that is not in love will fail the test.
I pray for eternal love to guide me through this life,
to help me "escape the chains of death."

I pray for your soul, content and peaceful somewhere here and now
not in some other realm  - in our realm , the one we share together.

There is no substitute for another.
no way to get over their absence.
People who tell you that there is a way,
don't know the truth of it.


What can I pray for ?
 that the happy, peaceful soul of yours is among saints and friends and stars.
 that you are home, a home I don't know anything about.
 A home I too will return to someday when my life here is complete.

"Remember man is dust and will return to dust" 
The priest at St Patrick's Cathedral
on the event of Ash Wednesday, as I lifted my head to have him smear my forehead with black ash.

I must remember dust is in my future.

" My wounded heart"
"Dear God, help me heal from grief and loss."

I pray for peace in accepting what I cannot accept.
I pray for peace in your soul.

Somedays I don't know what to pray for.

I can only keep praying for your love to be within me always.

"Love has conquered death."


I want and need to believe it.
death is only a doorway, to an opening
that is a mystery, the great mystery.

I pray to live the mystery, to let it be.

I pray to know your soul in my daily life,
here in the quiet morning,
to feel your presence.

I pray for your soul.
your loving soul.

In my heart of hearts, I find you there.
the noise on the outside keeps you far from me.
In my soul I know that you and I can never be separated,
it's only my thoughts that can keep you from me.

It is only when I find that still place within that
I can be with you,
without separation.

It is a prayer to wander into that still place
as often as I can, or never to leave it,
to always keep that still space alive,
no matter what is going on outside or in
my noisy thoughts.

I pray for soul to soul communication,
that I may not block it,

that I keep the channel open,
that I hear your soul's whisper no matter where I am, or where I go,
that I am with you always.

Love conquers death.

Amen

"But because being here means so much, and because all
that’s here, vanishing so quickly seems to need us
and strangely concerns us. Us, to the first to vanish.
Once each, only once. Once and no more. And us too,
once, even if only once,
to have been on earth just once — that’s irrevocable.
And so we keep on going and try to realize it,
try to hold it in our simple hands, in
our overcrowded eyes, and in our speechless heart.
Try to become it. To give it to whom? We’d rather
keep all of it forever… Ah, but what can we take across
into that other realm? Not the power to see we’ve learned
so slowly here, and nothing that’s happened here.
Nothing. And so, the pain; above all, the hard
work of living; the long experience of love –
those purely unspeakable things."  Rilke


What have you taken into "that other realm?"
love, take all of it, my love for you and everyone's love for you.
take it as a letter to God, a letter to the sky, that you were here
and we loved you.  As you loved us.

I pray for you to have that love in your soul for eternity.

I pray for your soul, for peace, for joy in your soul, for your light to be present in my life forever.

This world is not the same without your physical presence.

I pray for my soul, to do its work here on earth, to the best of my ability.

"Journey into this day knowing that whatever should happen we can never be separated from the Love of God, that when we are low He raises up, and when we are on the mountain top He rejoices with us."



May you be with me in this lowland,
and when I rise to the mountaintop may you rejoice with me.

 I pray to know that I can never be separated from your love, where you go, I follow.
where your love is, mine is there.

   Just let me know it, and believe it.

"The whole purpose of monastic life is to teach men to live by love."  Thomas Merton

Living by love,  I felt you lived the life of a monk, you let yourself be taught by life.
I saw it in your face, in your eyes, in your deeds.

I pray to walk that way,
allow myself to be taught to live by love.

I pray for your light to shine above me, within me, around me, all the days of my life.

"Without general mindfulness one cannot be generous,  kindly or compassionate.       
What is mindfulness ? And, how is it established?  Mindfulness is the awareness of what one is doing while one is doing it, and of nothing else."  Bhikkhu Khantipalo


I pray to be mindful, to follow your example, you who were mindful always.

I pray to walk the path of being aware of what I am doing while I am doing it.

I pray for your soul, your light being, you sweetness and love to be at peace
and to be with me always.