"Grief doesn't necessarily make you noble, sometimes it just makes you crazy or primitive with fear."

It suprises me who I am,
less and more than I thought.

I can't recognize myself.

I come from a family of I know ers...
not you, my beloved dad, but others.

And I too fell into the trap, I know I know I know.
now my most often refrain to anything is I don't know.

I don't know anything
and everyday I know less and less  about myself than I thought I knew.

I only know or understand more and more about love,
it's ever embracing eternalness, how you can feel someone's love
no matter if they are in the next room, a hundred towns away,
downstairs from where you sit on your childhood bed and watch tv
or in galaxies or realms you can not imagine.

it is there, the same as it was, it doesn't disappear as you did,
it's my only foothold on this ledge,
my only finger of hope.

and I don't know what love is I only know how it feels.