Stuck Prayer


I pray for nothing.
you, are always my prayer.

"Each of us has his own rhythm of suffering."  Roland Barthes

I pray to honor the rhythm of suffering, to not make myself "wrong."

I pray to the Divine to open my heart to myself, and to everyone I meet, everyone I love and cherish.
I atone for errors I made, they are in the past.

I pray to stay on the path toward light, the path to becoming a loving, forgiving person.
 
And always I pray for you living in eternal life.

Amen.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
taking, as He did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. 
Amen

"The best way to be hopeful is to do hopeful things."  Daniel Berrigan


With life and love beside me,
I follow the order of the day.
Live this day, let go of past misdeeds, past mistakes.
I cherish your love and commitment to life,
how can I do anything except follow your guidance.
With this I pray to the Divine, keep me steady on my path.

Amen.

"The desires I had before her death ( while she was sick) can no longer be fulfilled, for that would mean it is her death that allows me to fulfill them- her death might be a liberation in some sense with regard to my desires.  But her death has changed me, I no longer desire what I used to desire.  I must wait - supposing that such a thing could happen - for a  new desire to form, a desire following her death." Roland Barthes

 I throw out all the past desires.
 they don't make sense.
 I pray for this new beginning to honor you,
 your love for me,
 my love for you,
 in all that I say and do and think and all that I am, I pray for this.

 "Let yourself be inert, wait till the incomprehensible power... that has broken you restores you a little, I say a little, for henceforth you will always keep something broken about you.  Tell yourself this, too, for it is a kind of pleasure to know that you will never love less, that you will never be consoled, that you will constantly remember more and more."
    Letter from Proust to George de Lauris, whose mother has just died.  ( from Roland Barthes)

  I pray to take these broken words, these broken prayers and make something of them, something not whole, something pieced together
  into light.


   

November 10th
"People tell you to keep your "courage" up. But the time for courage was when she was sick, when I took care of her and saw her suffering, her sadness, and when I had to conceal my tears. Constantly one had to make a decision, put on a mask, and that was courage. 
- Now courage means the will the live and there's all too much of that."
  Roland Barthes

Now I ask for courage
from the Divine, the Beloved
from you.
It's all a dream,
me here, you somewhere else,
when I feel as though you are still among us.
I pray for new courage, new strength, new wisdom.

Amen.

Sunday Haiku
 old decaying tree,
 new growth with leaves and branches
 all at once I live.

Dream Fable

"Your prayers are your light
 Your devotion is your strength
 Sleep is the enemy of both

 Your life is the only opportunity that life can give you
 If you ignore it, if you waste it
 You will only turn to dust."   Rabia

Dream Fable 2
"In my dream I was going in the wrong direction, I knew it, yet went despite my knowing.
After traveling a short distance, I wanted to head home.
All the people waiting to go back said you have to wait a long time.
Someone appeared and said, "all my blessings are good, anything is possible."  

I pray to know my way and to head home.
I pray to know that all my blessings are good.
and anything is possible.

I pray for you, my beloved.
I pray for your safe journey out in the beyond.
I pray to live my life and head home.

Amen.

"All my blessing are good. Anything is possible."  from my dream last night, an angel said  to me.
 
I pray to appreciate all my blessings.
I pray to live through this and to go on
until life on earth ends and you come to collect me.

Amen.