"The dominant element of grief was a restless searching.  Grief resembles the anxiety that children feel when they're separated from their mothers."  The Long Goodbye

   Restless searching.  the constant question: Where are you?

  and it will never be answered. Never.


   "As we fail over and over to find the lost person, we slowly create a new world, the old one having been invalidated by death."  The Long Goodbye

    for me it's at glacial speed - the slowly creating a new world. I'm still clinging desperately to the old one.
    and feel I'll never let it go. Never.

     "But grief left me perhaps too aware of the transience of everything."
      Everything seems here and yet already gone. It's something I can't understand.
 
     And a year feels like a minute. How does that happen?

    "Sorrow turns out not to be a state but a process.  It needs not a map but a history."  C.S. Lewis


      Dora Carrington wrote about the passing away of her husband Lytton Strachey, "that everyday for the rest of my life you will be away."

      I pray for your soul, wherever you have drifted to, walked to, run to, floated to, swam to, whatever way you got there,
      I pray there were loved ones waiting for you, holding you and keeping you in love.