"Her absence was a space in our lives that I could almost embrace."  J.G. Ballard


It's too big a space to fill.
and it can't be filled.
by anything or anyone.
I will have to live with the space,
and know that you are within that space.

I pray for you, great soul, loving soul.
I pray for your travels.

In the river of my life
eleven months ago
everything stopped.

it wasn't a river anymore

I am walking in the river every day
unsure of where to place my feet.

the river keeps flowing, I can not stop it.

I pray for you on this day, that you are with me, at peace and in joy.

"Grief is on a continuum you have to move from one end of it to the other, and you can't miss any step along the way." Jack Miller, Ph.D

   Some days it doesn't feel as though it's moving at all, some days it feels as though all has stopped and I'm frozen in place.

   Some days I feel numb, I tell myself it's ok, but then something happens and it's not ok.

   Some days  I read something that makes me believe there is no death, and then I think about going to the cemetery and all breaks apart. 

      Many days I don't know what to believe, I only know you're not here in your beautiful physical form to discuss it with me.

       I guess I have to use other means to communicate, only I don't know what they are.  besides talking to myself and hoping and praying you hear me.

       I pray for you to hear me. 

        I pray for me to listen and hear you.

       I pray for reunion some day.

Bless your holy spirit
Bless your eternal soul.
Bless us all as we soldier on without you.
Bless us all to know that someday we will meet again.

you are blessed and we are blessed to have your love within us.

When you forgive those who have hurt you, you free up your awareness.  You shift it out of the past and bring it fully into the moment, where it can serve you to become what your heart's desire wants you to be.  Forgiveness is a great act of the soul.    The soul doesn't like to cling to the past.  It understands that all experiences are beneficial to our spiritual growth, because all experiences ultimately teach us something.  


  The most unforgiving I am is to myself.
  I pray to forgive myself for all the things I could have done, could have said, could have saved you.

  I pray for that comfort, I pray that you will understand all my failings, I know you do and you did,
  I pray to be as forgiving as you.


  I pray for your great soul, lighting up the world, the stars, the billions of galaxies, all at once.

  I pray for your soul's energy to stay near and travel far, yet remain in the orbit of my heart.


  I pray for myself to let go of past mistakes, failings, weaknesses, sins.

  

"In the Buddhist tradition - take your sorrow and sadness and do something positive with it in the name of someone you love."   Peace from Broken Pieces, Iylanla Vanzant


Everything I do, it's in your name.
to honor and continue my love for you.

From the smallest detail - it's all in your name.

You are all the verses to all the song I sing.

My song is for you.


I pray for you, kind, gentle, soaring soul that you are.

I pray for you. always, always, always.

"We must live our own experience, we cannot inherit it."  Andrei Tarkovsky


The life I have is mine
and I cannot rely on others,
it's all up to me.
"Everyone has to stand on their own feet."

I pray for your soul. is it safe ? is it worried?
is it at peace?  do those concepts exist in the hereafter?
is there a hereafter?  what is out there?


help !