july 18th

I dream about going to Switzerland in winter,
 a pilgrimage to the snow and everything white.

I would stay till late summer
and climb the Matterhorn.

I would go into exile in the Alps with the mountain rocks
and look for ancient sugar dwellings.

I'd climb mountain after mountain until I found
someone young and I'd ask them to tell me the secret
about how to live on the edge.

 In Switzerland, everything would be fixed by understanding geometry
 and the broken parts of myself would find a way
 to mend in the snow.

July 11th

The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them”    Stephen King

Maybe it's all right I did not say all the important things I thought I needed to say.
Maybe the words were not the thing, it was in the silence. a world was there.
Words would have diminished it.

I pray you know the way I felt and feel.
I pray you know all.
I pray I can release myself from what might have been, what could have been said or done
and rejoice in the beauty of you
and the love of you.


You are the song I keep singing.

july 11th

It's not a prayer, more a question, Oh God, where are you?

It's as though every day is your birthday

and I bring a bouquet of marigolds and long to place them at the feet of your soul.

Then I wait for you to arrive in a rainstorm of light.

When you don't it's like someone stole the slingshot that would shoot you back to breath and earth

 and now you drift along a heavenly prairie without sleep.

july 5th/ Anniversary

On this day in a backyard garden in Brooklyn
you married my mother sixty four years ago,
 your face full of seriousness and responsibility

My mother held onto your hand all day.
She was nineteen, girlish.
that first date she took you for a ride on a bicycle.

She was your happiness you said,
always seeing life as good.

You, more tragic, more poet,
war had already crowded out the good and the innocent.

If you're here,
send us a bouquet of roses.


 I want to believe you are here, somewhere between the air and the sun,
 close at hand, reachable.

 I have an image of reaching my hands out to you,
 but my hands always disappear into the air, your form escapes.
 I can't hold onto it.

 It's another prayer of surrender, I'll keep knocking at surrender's door,
 one day she'll let me in.

  I pray for the beautiful soul that you are
  to travel wide open to all.

july 5th

You gave me everything, without asking for anything in return.
You light my way, day after day.
I can't grasp in my mind that you are not here.
In so many ways it feels like you're here.

And in my heart you will always be here.
forever and eternally.

july 5th

"You are left to wander as long as is necessary until you are finally are able to relinquish control over the path of your life."
   Surrender and let God reorder the flow of your life.  You aren't leaving your life, you are reentering your life.... soul first."


Give up, give in, let go.
Surrender.
If I only knew how.
I would do it.

I pray to allow all of life to flow and not pretend I am controlling anything.

I am here only to live a life of love and service.

I'm going to find a way.
The way.

I bless you and love you and cherish you on your adventure.

I pray to have the courage, grace and love you had.

july 5th

"They are on their journey, you are on yours."

And it's true.
Why can't I accept my journey and yours are not one?

I have always known it, and lived my own life.

 Is it too scary, too lonely, too sad ?

I don't know.

you are "eternal loveliness," as St. Francis of Assisi wrote.

Just one foot step at a time, that's all I need to do.
and keep your eternal loveliness in my heart and soul.


I pray that you will know you are here in my  heart and soul.